I talked with a student today about her break up with her boyfriend of over a year. She's struggling and I really had no profound words. I've been there. I've felt that hurt that feels like it's going to last forever. I've felt the guilt and wondered what I could've done better... different. Then I found these wise words from a friend/musician, Mike Donahey. This is what he told a friend of his that recently went through a break-up.
"Bro.
Don’t give up.
I can definitely understand the hurt man.
I’ve been there.
And I do know this, remember that though hurt is used by God,
it is still in its essence, unnatural.
It is a result of the fall, of the fracture that happened
in our union with God when we wanted to take control.
Be encouraged friend,
this is not how it’s always going to be.
And I know that losing this girl feels like you’ve lost
all of yourself, but here’s the good news,
and maybe bad news depending on how you look at it,
but I’ve been married for almost 2 years now, and I’ve
been surprised to find that my wife can’t make me happy.
I mean, she’s awesome, don’t get me wrong,
but the problem is that I’m just made for more than
even she can give me.
And so, I’ve had to come to terms with the fact, that
since God loves me, he won’t let me be completely happy
with anything other than Himself.
Yes, It’s painful, but it’s good.
I can promise you that.
If you think of it, I’d really suggest a book to you
called, “A Severe Mercy”
Basically, this dude loses his wife to cancer I think,
and he realizes that it was the severe mercy of God
that allowed it to happen, because basically,
she was his God. He didn’t know it at the time,
but the most merciful thing God could do was to take
her from him, because only God can last beyond this life.
Only God Himself can satisfy.
And yes, we have to walk through the midnight hour of
the soul to get there sometimes, but what you’ll find
on the other side is so much better. it’s so much more free.
Could you imagine, if God Himself was all we needed to be content?
What could mortal man do to us?
What could anyone take away?
They couldn’t.
They can’t.
Hang it there bro,
we’re just strangers here while we walk this earth,
and there’s light on the other side of this."
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
the comparison battle
I made a new friend this past weekend. Her name is Ruthie Dean and she is a terrific writer. Go here to read her blog. I came across a post she wrote a few months ago shortly after she got married. It spoke to my heart in such a strong way. It's good to know that we are not alone in this battle of "i'll never be good enough... thin enough... crafty enough... smart enough... domestic enough..." It's exhausting being so critical of yourself all the time. But I am. All the time. I read Ruthie's post and was so encouraged. We are daughter's of the King who has indeed created us unique; with different strengths and character qualities to enrich the body of Christ.
Ruthie Dean: Life as a MRS:The Comparison Battle
Ruthie Dean: Life as a MRS:The Comparison Battle
St. Andrews PCA Youth Camp 2011: ROCKtober!!
when I say we have an awesome youth group & youth leadership team, it's really an understatement. what a fun, exhausting weekend we had. Lots of memories made!
At the farm
around the campfire
and then the Adventure Race began.
hay bale race!
One of the volunteers, Josh, MADE two Sudoku boards. Amazing.
Mad Gab!! So hilarious. Love that game!
Gross food competition: Margaret, workin' on a huge portabella mushroom.
throw up them Rawkfists!
we also had an awesome dance party!
a devo by the pond.
camp fire and smores!
the group of volunteers. such a great group!
The kids learned about three Rocks: the rock of self (which is unstable), the rock of God, & the rock of Christ. It was an awesome weekend and God was honored in all our fun and tiredness.
Here's the group shot. I missed it b/c I decided to run to the bathroom (cause I hadn't gone in like 8 hours due to the adventure race) and at that moment they took the picture. Bummer. But what a great group!!
and I told you that Thousand Foot Krutch video had a purpose. Here it is; our awesome guy volunteers!
At the farm
around the campfire
and then the Adventure Race began.
hay bale race!
One of the volunteers, Josh, MADE two Sudoku boards. Amazing.
Mad Gab!! So hilarious. Love that game!
Gross food competition: Margaret, workin' on a huge portabella mushroom.
throw up them Rawkfists!
we also had an awesome dance party!
a devo by the pond.
camp fire and smores!
the group of volunteers. such a great group!
The kids learned about three Rocks: the rock of self (which is unstable), the rock of God, & the rock of Christ. It was an awesome weekend and God was honored in all our fun and tiredness.
Here's the group shot. I missed it b/c I decided to run to the bathroom (cause I hadn't gone in like 8 hours due to the adventure race) and at that moment they took the picture. Bummer. But what a great group!!
and I told you that Thousand Foot Krutch video had a purpose. Here it is; our awesome guy volunteers!
Friday, October 21, 2011
Lightbulb Moment
I came across a Bible verse that hit me like a blinding light which revealed all the corners of darkness and confusion I had in my mind and heart. I have read this verse, literally 100+ times and never seen it in the light that I did only recently.
I work at a Christian school; grades preK-12 but I am in the high school office. It's not uncommon for me to have deep, theological conversations with students on a daily basis. And it's amazing that I get to do so at my workplace! It's challenging. It's convicting. It's sobering to hear the student's hungry-souls struggle over the hard truths of the Bible. And there are hard things to mentally grasp in God's Word. But the amazing thing about the Bible is that it is able to regenerate a 4 year old and able to regenerate a 90 year old heart. It's that personal. It's that illuminating. It's that diverse and relevant.
Philippians 2 verses 12-13 says, "Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure."
How could I not have seen it before? God's sovereignty displayed in this verse. The age-old discussion of 'Choice v. Divine Will'; 'Free-will v. Pre-Destination'. It all makes sense when we realize what verse 13 says, "for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure."
"So my working and willing are necessary. They are real. But they are not first or ultimately decisive. God’s willing and working is decisively under and in my willing and working. The word “for” is crucial. I work because he is working in me. I will, because he is willing in me."
[and this is crucial] "Believing this precedes understanding how it works. God says it. I believe it. Now I am spending a lifetime learning what it is like to live this way.
Paul did not just tell me to live this way. He modeled living this way one chapter later. He said in Philippians 3:12,'Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own.'
His pressing on to secure the resurrection from the dead (v. 11) is rooted in Christ’s decisively securing him for the resurrection from the dead. In other words, all Paul’s striving is real, and it is certain because Christ makes it certain. He modeled the same thing in 1 Corinthians 15:10, 'I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me.' So abandon any anti-Bible intellectual baggage you have inherited from planet earth, and recalibrate your brain to embrace the paradoxes of real human choice and decisive divine sway." - John Piper
We have an impossibly gracious, powerful, loving God who is in control of all things. Praise be to God!
I work at a Christian school; grades preK-12 but I am in the high school office. It's not uncommon for me to have deep, theological conversations with students on a daily basis. And it's amazing that I get to do so at my workplace! It's challenging. It's convicting. It's sobering to hear the student's hungry-souls struggle over the hard truths of the Bible. And there are hard things to mentally grasp in God's Word. But the amazing thing about the Bible is that it is able to regenerate a 4 year old and able to regenerate a 90 year old heart. It's that personal. It's that illuminating. It's that diverse and relevant.
Philippians 2 verses 12-13 says, "Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure."
How could I not have seen it before? God's sovereignty displayed in this verse. The age-old discussion of 'Choice v. Divine Will'; 'Free-will v. Pre-Destination'. It all makes sense when we realize what verse 13 says, "for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure."
"So my working and willing are necessary. They are real. But they are not first or ultimately decisive. God’s willing and working is decisively under and in my willing and working. The word “for” is crucial. I work because he is working in me. I will, because he is willing in me."
[and this is crucial] "Believing this precedes understanding how it works. God says it. I believe it. Now I am spending a lifetime learning what it is like to live this way.
Paul did not just tell me to live this way. He modeled living this way one chapter later. He said in Philippians 3:12,'Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own.'
His pressing on to secure the resurrection from the dead (v. 11) is rooted in Christ’s decisively securing him for the resurrection from the dead. In other words, all Paul’s striving is real, and it is certain because Christ makes it certain. He modeled the same thing in 1 Corinthians 15:10, 'I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me.' So abandon any anti-Bible intellectual baggage you have inherited from planet earth, and recalibrate your brain to embrace the paradoxes of real human choice and decisive divine sway." - John Piper
We have an impossibly gracious, powerful, loving God who is in control of all things. Praise be to God!
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Camp ROCKtober
that is... our youth group Fall retreat that's taking place this coming weekend. Friday evening through Sunday afternoon we will be in Pine Mt, Ga at our friend Chelsey Smith's parent's farm which is breath-taking. It's the sort of place you escape to to find rest and feel God's presence through the outdoors. I can't wait to spend time with our youth and grow deeper in my knowledge and love for Christ. We have a stellar group of kids
They are a blast to be with!
I will post about the weekend next week sometime but until then I'll leave you with this video.
...it will make sense later.
-D
They are a blast to be with!
I will post about the weekend next week sometime but until then I'll leave you with this video.
...it will make sense later.
-D
Friday, October 7, 2011
Maw-wich
mow-wich is what bwings us togedda today...
:)
These pics were taken at a wedding that we went to last weekend. Our small group friend Allen Whitley and Emily Marshall (now Whitley) became husband and wife! It was a fun night. Our bud, Zach Smith took some sweet photos of us at the wedding.
I love weddings. Especially when both people are believers. So covenantal. So pure. So God-honoring.
Have a great weekend! Love your spouse!
:)
These pics were taken at a wedding that we went to last weekend. Our small group friend Allen Whitley and Emily Marshall (now Whitley) became husband and wife! It was a fun night. Our bud, Zach Smith took some sweet photos of us at the wedding.
I love weddings. Especially when both people are believers. So covenantal. So pure. So God-honoring.
Have a great weekend! Love your spouse!
Monday, October 3, 2011
On being thankful
It really is amazing how many times the apostle Paul reminds us to "be thankful" in his letters. It seems he knows that it is something that is important and valuable. Thankfulness combats so many things: jealousy, envy, discontent, depression, ungratefulness, selfishness..the list goes on.
Lately, I have been so thankful for my spouse. I have a few precious single girl friends who want to be married and when I see them in church on Sunday, faithfully worshiping with the church body and trusting Christ as their "husband", I am reminded that the Lord sweetly gave me a man to do life with. He entrusted me D.R. to care for and love. D.R. has been so kind and thankful for me lately and it has been a reminder that I need to do the same to him. He always thanks me for cooking him a meal and folding and putting away the clothes. Two things that he is thankful he does not have to do- nor does he enjoy doing. I enjoy doing them because I know they relieve him of these duties. And when I choose to do them with this in mind, I do them joyfully which is so much more fun than doing them out of necessity/obligation. My husband is a thoughtful person. He gets inside other's heads and finds out what's important to them. For example, our youth pastor Zach is a photographer and loves to take pictures (obviously) so D.R. brought a camera to youth group and took some pictures of him playing ultimate frisbee with the youth kids for him to have. Zach is usually never in the pictures we hang on the youth wall, because he's behind the camera.
Or when a family member's birthday is coming up, he is the first to remind me. (mainly because he sets a reminder on Google calendar a week in advance- genius!) He was the one to remind me that Buddy's birthday was at the end of September and he did the research for his birthday present. (a "all things on Baseball" book- one of Buddy's loves in life) I stink at gift giving. I admit it. I'm not good at it at all. Thank goodness for giftcards!
I love that my husband is others-focused. He is always looking for ways to give $ to organizations or friends who are in the mission field. We are a big supporter of Samaritan's Purse and every year around this time, we do Operation Christmas Child. It's become tradition to go to Walmart together and pick out age & gender- appropriate toys for a child. He always does a boy and I, a girl. It was D.R.'s idea to write our child a personal letter, telling them about us and our love for Jesus Christ (and we always include a picture of us so they can know who we are) It's been a neat way to serve together around the holiday season.
Changing gears.... I have struggled in the past to appreciate who my husband is. For a long while, I have battled with comparing our marriage to others; comparing my husband with other husbands. I wasn't being thankful for the great qualities D.R. has. I'm learning to be a "student" of my husband- trying to recognize his strengths and be his cheerleader and recognizing his weaknesses and not putting him down for them. I'm trying to notice what stresses him out and take those things off his hands. I'm learning that guys need to hear "I love you" and "you look hot, honey" just as much as girls do. In fact, I feel like a man's confidence is more fragile than ours sometimes. I'm reminded to touch him more- to make him feel I desire him and value him physically. He's loving me a lot better than he did at the beginning of our marriage. I hope he can say the same for me.
I can truly say: Thank you God for allowing me a wife. Thank for you giving D.R. to me as my spouse. Thank you that I can go through life's joys and sorrows with a believing man leading me. Thank you for my husband's strengths. Thank you that he is mine.
Lately, I have been so thankful for my spouse. I have a few precious single girl friends who want to be married and when I see them in church on Sunday, faithfully worshiping with the church body and trusting Christ as their "husband", I am reminded that the Lord sweetly gave me a man to do life with. He entrusted me D.R. to care for and love. D.R. has been so kind and thankful for me lately and it has been a reminder that I need to do the same to him. He always thanks me for cooking him a meal and folding and putting away the clothes. Two things that he is thankful he does not have to do- nor does he enjoy doing. I enjoy doing them because I know they relieve him of these duties. And when I choose to do them with this in mind, I do them joyfully which is so much more fun than doing them out of necessity/obligation. My husband is a thoughtful person. He gets inside other's heads and finds out what's important to them. For example, our youth pastor Zach is a photographer and loves to take pictures (obviously) so D.R. brought a camera to youth group and took some pictures of him playing ultimate frisbee with the youth kids for him to have. Zach is usually never in the pictures we hang on the youth wall, because he's behind the camera.
Or when a family member's birthday is coming up, he is the first to remind me. (mainly because he sets a reminder on Google calendar a week in advance- genius!) He was the one to remind me that Buddy's birthday was at the end of September and he did the research for his birthday present. (a "all things on Baseball" book- one of Buddy's loves in life) I stink at gift giving. I admit it. I'm not good at it at all. Thank goodness for giftcards!
I love that my husband is others-focused. He is always looking for ways to give $ to organizations or friends who are in the mission field. We are a big supporter of Samaritan's Purse and every year around this time, we do Operation Christmas Child. It's become tradition to go to Walmart together and pick out age & gender- appropriate toys for a child. He always does a boy and I, a girl. It was D.R.'s idea to write our child a personal letter, telling them about us and our love for Jesus Christ (and we always include a picture of us so they can know who we are) It's been a neat way to serve together around the holiday season.
Changing gears.... I have struggled in the past to appreciate who my husband is. For a long while, I have battled with comparing our marriage to others; comparing my husband with other husbands. I wasn't being thankful for the great qualities D.R. has. I'm learning to be a "student" of my husband- trying to recognize his strengths and be his cheerleader and recognizing his weaknesses and not putting him down for them. I'm trying to notice what stresses him out and take those things off his hands. I'm learning that guys need to hear "I love you" and "you look hot, honey" just as much as girls do. In fact, I feel like a man's confidence is more fragile than ours sometimes. I'm reminded to touch him more- to make him feel I desire him and value him physically. He's loving me a lot better than he did at the beginning of our marriage. I hope he can say the same for me.
I can truly say: Thank you God for allowing me a wife. Thank for you giving D.R. to me as my spouse. Thank you that I can go through life's joys and sorrows with a believing man leading me. Thank you for my husband's strengths. Thank you that he is mine.
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