Drive It Out!

*just an aside. If you are a faithful blog follower, by now you have come to realize that you may be waiting weeks inbetween posts from this gal. I'm not a day by day journaler, though I would like to be. I converse with God easily in my own head and sometimes I think if I got it out on paper or screen, no one would really understand but God. lol so I will stick to writing about my instances of growth: those times in my life when I learn something about God, about love, about forgiveness or kindness. I will document those simply because I want to remember them and learn from them. Stones of remembrance that remind me of God's goodness to me. Here's the current thing my flesh is battling.

Fear.

There is no fear in love...

Wait, you mean I can't be "cautious" with my heart and truly love someone? I can't protect myself and guard myself and still love the person who doesn't know Christ? I don't have a right to be afraid of the guy who walks in off the street wanting food and starring blankly at me.

No.

1 John 4 says that 'we know and rely on the love God has for us.' We RELY on it. Do I really rely on God for His love to consume me so much that it blots out fear? Do I live each day believing that God will protect me from harm because I am in the center of His will for my life? Not often enough.

I have been fearful at work. The church is a haven for me; a safe place of surrender and mercy even during the week as I work; but lately I have begun to fear the people whom I should be loving the most. I fear the lost. I fear the homeless man who smells like trash and cigarettes. I judge them because I fear them. I think I've been using my fear as a way to justify the judgment I pass. Fear is crippling and I know I wasn't created to feel this way. I know that because it hurts. I hate being fearful. It makes it painful to love somebody.

A homeless man came into the church today wanting some help with transportation but really what he wanted was just to talk to someone. He's been coming for a while and clearly doesn't know the Lord because there is no hope in him. He's always a talker but today he seemed different. He had a desperate, hopeless, lost-puppy look in his eye that said, "Does God care about me?" But instead of encouraging him with scripture and telling him the promises of God, I was wondering if he had a knife in his pocket. Or if he got a gun somewhere and was so depressed that he might not be thinking straight. I was so scared honestly that I was frozen to my chair. I didn't even want to reach for the phone when it rang. I was consumed with fear. I was not trusting God's provision over me. I was not believing that God loved me enough to care about the situation I was in and calm my nerves.

'God is love.' Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love DRIVES OUT fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because He first loved us.' 1 john 4:16b-19a

This tells me that I have the ability to love people as Christ loves me! I just have to choose to let the Holy Spirit love through me. I need to be praying each morning that God will give me a spirit of love for these lost sheep and that His love in me would drive my fear far away.

I love the promises of God. They are so rich and so many! Speaking of rich, I am really craving something sweet. I may have to go steal more candy from my husband's easter basket, AGAIN. ha poor guy.