...is a really hard thing. I've been reading through I Samuel and been convicted and inspired by the story of a young woman who was deeply saddened that the Lord had closed her womb. Her husband's other wife(sketchy) was very fruitful and had many children. She prays that if God will only open her womb and give her a son, she will give him back to God for a life committed to service. The Lord grants her a son and she is faithful to her promise. Such a beautiful story. In this season of my life I have a serious choice. I can choose to trust the Lord to be the all-satisfying, soul-pleasing, heart-gardener of my life or I can not trust Him and keep longing for things that will never wholely satisfy my desires.
My deepest prayer in this season and what I'm crying out to the Lord is this:
"Lord help me believe that 'Godliness with contentment is great gain. For I brought nothing into the world, and I can take nothing out of it. But if I have food and clothing, I will be content with that.' I believe in Your goodness; now help my unbelief. I trust that you are a sovereign, good God who longs to give good things to those who fear You. Enable me to believe that even if I never am able to have children, or live close to family that You are working all things for my good and Your glory. Help me to not grieve the Holy Spirit within me that convicts my adulturous heart. Remind me that Your love is abundant and Your mercy is new with each morning. Give me passionate joy to be a wife who loves to serve, who gives much and expects little. Help me to be the woman who takes delight in keeping a home clean and liveable (need some motivation in that area-lol), and most of all Lord let all that is in me hunger for time with You: in prayer, in Your perfect Word, and, in fellowship with other saints. Sustain me in continuing to 'run the race' for Your glory. I love you. Amen."
"I have not departed from your laws,
for you yourself have taught me.
How sweet are your words to my taste,
sweeter than honey to my mouth!
I gain understanding from your precepts;
therefore I hate every wrong path."
Psalm 119:102-104
I have been reading through 1 Samuel as well these past few mornings and am so humbled by Hannah's example, before & after she had Samuel. Surrender is such a hard thing, but so so vital. Beautiful post!
ReplyDeleteIt's hard when God puts our desires on hold. A dear friend of mine was visiting yesterday and we were discussing this very thing. I feel there is always something in life that I desperately want but it's either not the right timing OR God does not have that thing in my future. These things are usually not bad desires so therefore I think "come on God! GIVE IT TO ME!" But He is in control and works all things in His timing...and His timing is perfect.
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