Saying Goodbye

Friday, I kissed the love of my life goodbye for 6 months. D.R. is deployed until May to Afghanistan. He made it there safely (I talked to him today). So thankful. I can't describe all the emotions/thoughts I've experienced in the weeks leading up to Friday, December 7. Here are some of them:

"nights will be hard"
"does Champ realize he's leaving?"
"I can't stop staring at his face- I want to memorize it"
"...I'm gonna have to take the trash out"
"the bed is gonna seem so big"
"i won't wash dude clothes for 6 months"
"i will grocery shop for one"
"what's a premium? a Roth IRA? uh-oh, I need financial help"
"will he have any Christian friends in Afghanistan?"
"will I enjoy my independence?"
"I hope he's not scared."
"what if he doesn't come back?"
"am I supposed to be a widow at 28?"
"do I trust God?"
"God, will you keep him from temptation?"
"God, will you keep me from temptation?"
"I have to go to church alone."
"I'm going to have a lot of 'me' time."
"I don't like to call people."
"Will this be good for our marriage?"
"will he miss me?"
"I wish this day would slow down."
"You're in control, God."
"I'm afraid."
"These arguments are so frustrating."
"thank you for a sweet, intimate night."
"6 months of no sex..."
"6 months of no dates."
"6 months...."

We've known about this day for 7 months. It's here and although my heart is sad I am expectant of the Lord to do something great in our marriage. He is always working out all things for our good and so I know that this too is part of His good and perfect will. Help me trust you, God.

D.R. & I were able to spend a lot of time together in the past months. We took some great trips: Amelia Island, Key West, San Antonio, Panama City Beach, Myrtle Beach, Blue Ridge Mountains. I'm thankful for those memories.

My husband is precious. He sent me a letter an hour after I dropped him off (via email). He had written the letter a week prior. My chest was tight and the tears were flowing as I read how much he loves me and hates that he doesn't show it well sometimes. He said how this time apart will be for our good and make us thankful for each other. He recalled things he admired about me and gave me confidence that I could make it through this. He promised he'd be a better leader in our marriage. He apologized for his sin that hurts me and God. I was, once again, thankful to have a believing husband. I don't deserve it. God is good to care for me by giving me D.R.

I know that with God's love and our Christian community around us, we will make it through these months and love each other and the Lord more deeply.

I talked to my mother in law the other night and I told her that no matter what, our lives are about glorifying God and enjoying Him forever- whatever that means. I want to hold my dear husband with loose hands- because he is a gift. I pray the distance will be over come May but if it is not, if the Lord, in his sovereignty, has a different plan, I hope I can trust my Savior.

He is a good Dad.

He knows what I need.

He knows what D.R. needs.


He will take care of us.