Mean girls and my mom's example

I was picked on in middle school. I was the short, seemingly-quiet girl who tried to get along with everyone. I had a couple closer friends who were on the cheerleading squad with me but at times I even felt I was the object of ridicule to them too. I can remember wearing overalls to school the first week of 7th grade and being called all kinds of names. I became very insecure around 6th grade. Up until then, I believe I acted silly with abandon. Just plain, pre-adolescent silly girl all the time. Then I noticed that other girls didn't act that way and the boys liked them. The boys at my middle school seemed to like the mean girls. The girls that put others down to make them look and feel better about themselves. Maybe those boys were scared to be put in the "picked on pile" so they became one of her minions. I think about their mothers now. Did their mothers know that they acted so mean to others at school? Did they think it was funny? Were they mean moms? Maybe the girls were just modeling what they saw at home. It makes me think about my mom back then. She was kind. She was fun. Always giving encouraging words and smiles. My house was always filled with praise and worship songs- sometimes just by the sound of my mom's voice. My mom always welcomed our friends over and made extra food if someone showed up unannounced. I don't recall my mom talking about other women behind their back or comparing herself with others. If she did, Kirstie & I weren't around. I respect my mom a lot for that,.... now that I think about it. She was a devoted wife and mother who tried to teach her girls to love others unconditionally. Everyone wants to be friends with the pretty girl, because, well, she's pretty. But I remember my mom's friends (not that they weren't all attractive in their own way). They weren't the cheerleading squad from back when. Some were overweight, un-athletic, shy, loud. But they were all fun and kind and shared a love for Christ, the church and each other. Looking back, I realize how devoted a friend my mom was. I grew up with three very close friends- all of whom had mother's that were best friends with my mom. They did life together. Made mistakes together. Sweet, messy friendships held together by God's grace. Young, clueless moms navigating life together. (will their husbands too :)) My mom and those women raised kind, respectful daughters. Women (now) who love Jesus, have faithful friends and are marrying Godly men. It's a picture of generational faithfulness. Looking back, I can see how God was using my mom to instill the fruits of the spirit into my heart.

Love.
Joy.
Peace.
Patience.
Kindness.
Goodness.
Faithfulness.
Gentleness.
Self Control.

Of course, the Holy Spirit had to come into my heart in order for me to show any of these things in my own life. They are fruit OF the Spirit- given by the Holy Spirit. I saw those in mom. Not always. Not all of them- everyday. But she lived her life trying to be those things.


I think about one day when I have children. How important it is to be loving, joyful (despite sucky circumstances), peaceable, kind, good, faithful, gentle (in word and deed) and self-controlled (BIG one! ex. with time, with food, with finances, with exercise, with... everything). How important it is to teach them to be those things to others. To love everyone despite what they look like, or talk like or smell like. Middle school is rough. Everything about middle school is hard. You're changing from head to toe- inside and out. You start getting pimples, you get your period, you get a boyfriend, you get a bad grade, you get picked last, you don't get a date to the dance, you feel the pressure to shop at certain stores (5.7.9 anyone??), you put wayyy to much emphasis on pop songs lyrics. (I waited by the radio with my pointer finger on the record button for "Spider Webs" by No Doubt... sometimes for an hour. No joke) I made some of most embarrassing memories of my life in 6-8th grade. Attention-seeking behavior galore! (that's another post for another time) I want my future children to know that they can be silly and goofy way into their young teens. Because they are fearfully and wonderfully made, and Christ died to be their perfect example of all the fruits of the spirit. He died for their effort to TRY to be as perfect as Him. I pray they discover and know the depth of His grace and mercy for them. That they can't buy His love. They don't have to impress Him by wearing certain things or saying certain things. They can rest, knowing that they are enough because Christ's death was MORE than enough to pay for their "coming-up-short". I hope I can be that mom one day. I hope I will feel the weight of responsibility in modeling Godliness with contentment. To not love money and have to have the next, new thing all the time. To not be model-thin or try to attain an unrealistic goal. To not speak harshly against others (especially women) revealing my insecure and judgmental heart. To keep my word when I promise things. To be humble enough to apologize to my children when I'm wrong. What a powerful example of humility/repentance and our need for forgiveness DAILY from our Savior. I pray I will have the joy of being a mom- to shepherd little souls and (Lord willing) expand the Kingdom.

Mean girls come from mean moms. Mean boys come from domineering dads. I just know it. I praise God for my parent's example. I pray I can be such an example.

And just because I know some of you were wanting a blast from the past!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sKCzYOFAqxU