Hello blog world. I have returned finally after a long hiatus. I blog in my head... to myself... ALL THE TIME. LoL Thoughts in my head are always more collected than when I put them on paper. It's like my relationship with God, I talk to Him a lot during the day and I learn a lot from Him during the day but do I think to write it down? No, a big mistake. So I thought it necessary to journal about this certain happening so that years from now I can look back and see the faithfulness of God. Stones of remembrance are very important to build my faith. I often forget when God has enabled me to be obedient and totally should document them so He can get the glory over and over again.
So here we go....
I have for a long while been harboring jealousy and even worse: envy (which involves malicious action) against a few people. It's been my "secret sin" that most don't see in my life. But nothing is secret from God so who was I kidding? He(God) made clear to me that this was going to be a detriment to my marriage and my relationship with others and most importantly my relationship with my God. I ignored Him for so long and kept on in sin; knowing full well what I was doing. I even read in Romans about storing up wrath for myself by disobeying the Lord and STILL I was stubborn. God even tried to use several precious women to warn me of the seriousness of this struggle and the implications of holding on to it so tightly and thinking it's "innocent". It wasn't until I had my sister holding me accountable to make a change that I felt the weight of my sin. (Js 4:17- thx Kirst) God used her mightily in this situation to convict me. I suddenly felt an urgency to take these people off my radar screen so that the temptation to sin would not be present. God enabled me to flee. And while I'm still battling the "ways around obedience" in my flesh, I can feel the peace that this act of obedience has brought and it's so worth it.
There is nothing sweeter than feeling close and intimate again with my Savior. I missed Him. It's awesome to once again feel my need for Him in such a strong way.
You know what's funny, is I have really noticed how handsome D.R. is lately. I mean he always was but man o man..... he's cute.
So glad that God has been helping you conquer this struggle...we all have those "chief" sins we fall in to and only God can pull us out! It's strange how we want to gloat and remain our sin but are so miserable while doing it. The sin nature is strong...trust me, I see it coming out in my sweet girl already. sigh.
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