the problem beneath the problem

Hello again, blog friends! It's been a little while. I haven't had much to say lately because life has been so full and I've been busy living it! Christmas, New Years, weddings... so much life shared with family and friends lately. It's been wonderful. I can't believe it's 2011. I feel like I was just in Miami at my uncle's house, begging my mom for a sip of her champagne & ringing in Y2K my sophomore yr of h.s.! And now we're beginning a new decade. What will this one bring? In the last one, I've graduated h.s, received a degree from Samford University, married my best friend, become an aunt, and experienced being a homeowner. There is much to look forward to. In the next few weeks I will gain another brother-in-law and experience the sweet relationship of having a married sister to talk to. God has so graciously chosen Aaron for Kirstie and it's a beautiful match. He's been a precious addition to our family and become a true, dear friend of mine & D.R.'s. He's a zealous man of God and deeply loves His Word & the church. I'm confident that he will lead Kirstie well and with much humility and grace. He's the youngest of four children and like most babies in the family, he's learned from his older 3 siblings mistakes & successes. Aaron, if you ever read this, I am truly glad God chose you to be my sister's spouse. We love you and welcome you to the family!

I got to spend some quality time with my sister over New Years and hear her heart about wedding plans and thoughts on marriage. We both share the same struggle with our physical expectations. I know that God will use that struggle in her marriage to show her what's most important but I didn't quite know how to encourage her Biblically. When I got home and shared with D.R. the struggle that Kirstie & I both have he reminded me that the problem is not that she wants to be physically perfect for Aaron and is consumed with her appearance. The problem is her heart's perception of what Aaron deems most important. He said, "Kirstie has a sin problem. It's not that she needs to exercise less and eat more. She needs to understand what she's thinking about Aaron and how twisted it is. She is basically saying that all Aaron cares about is how hot his wife will look. Why would she want to marry a guy who is that shallow? Of course Aaron is not concerned with that stuff. He loves her heart. Her body is just a bonus. You need to remind Kirstie that she needs to beautify and strengthen her heart in preparation to be a wife; not her body."

um, wow. That's why I married D.R. He always puts things in Biblical perspective. Here I am telling Kirstie to just not be so concerned with how often she works out and "eat more meat, skinny one!" when her heart is totally in the wrong place. I'm really good at doing behavior modification and neglecting the heart issue. Kirstie (& I) both struggle with believing that our eternal value is found in Christ. We can easily obsess over how many squats we did/didn't do in a day and forget about cracking open God's word of life to exercise our heart. I'm so thankful that D.R. gave me a sermonette on all this. I personally needed it. My heart needs the sustenance of God's word- the pure milk of His truth. Not tighter thighs. (although that'd be nice, ha) I pray in 2011, I can be a woman who longs for time with my Savior in His Word. I want to drink in the truths that feed my soul and strengthen my heart towards Christ and away from sin. I want to love the things of God more (fellowship with saints, service, hospitality, mentorship, submission) and hate the vanities of this world. Oh how prone to wander, Lord I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love! Oh God, take my heart and seal it for the courts above.

I love the line from "Come Ye Sinners", one of my favorite hymns, that says,
"Let not conscience make you linger, nor of fitness fondly dream; All the fitness He requireth is to feel your need of Him." This is my prayer for Kirstie & I and anyone who struggles to think they must acheive something to be acceptable before God.