Sometimes the fallen nature of our world bears down deep on my soul and leaves me feeling without hope. Recently so many loved ones around me are fighting battles that the Lord has not called me to fight. (yet) A co-worker's husband got diagnosed with a terminal brain cancer and given at most 6 mo. to live. A family member continues to struggle with a paralyzing drug addiction and depression, the father of two of my girls in my dance class abandoned his family and told his wife that he doesn't love her anymore. Devastating, heart-wrenching times. My heart is grieved over these people's struggles. There have been certain times during a trial when my prayers were reduced to nothing more than cries for help throughout the day. "Lord, have mercy on me." "Lord, I need your grace." "Lord, please help." On these days I sometimes feel guilty that my prayers lack substance. Then I remember the truth of Christ's prayers for me:
"It is a consoling thought that Christ is praying for us, even when we are negligent in our prayer life; that He is presenting to the Father those spiritual needs which were not present to our minds and which we often neglect to include in our prayers; and that He prays for our protection against the dangers of which we are not even conscious, and against the enemies which threaten us, though we do not notice it. He is praying that our faith may not cease, and that we may come out victoriously in the end." Louis Berkhof, Systematic Theology, p.403.
"If I could hear Christ praying for me in the next room, I would not fear a million enemies. Yet distance makes no difference. He is praying for me."Robert Murray M'Cheyne, Robert Murray M'Cheyne p.179.
What enormous comfort and courage poured into my soul when I remember my Savior's prayers! He cares deeply for his people and his Spirit intercedes with groans so deep we cannot understand or bear them. Praise God that He is always at work in my heart even when I am choosing disobedience. I love my Savior. My advocate. My voice to the Father on my behalf. I know he is faithful to work all things out for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose. I am trusting that promise for these families. I know everyone knows of people that are hurting. Will you join in prayer for those in your life who need it most?
"Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working." James 5:16
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Mobile
This past weekend I went to Mobile, AL. It was such a wonderful two days filled with seeing old friends. God took us to Mobile, AL for 2.5 years of our marriage and looking back I am so thankful He did. The women I met there are precious to me. They are real. They are available and always filled with Christ's love. Those were hard years in our marriage with D.R. being in P.A. school. A lot of lonliness. A lot of meals eaten alone. A lot of feeling like just a roommate to my husband. So many women encouraged me and walked beside me during those years.
Saturday morning I went to a ladies brunch at Bette's house (one of the older ladies in the church- always a gracious hostess). It was just what my heart needed. Cinnamon rolls, hot coffee and time in the Word with 30 precious God-fearing women. We sat around in small groups on her back porch with the glorious breeze of 78* and discussed God's attributes, challenges He has brought into our lives in the past year, what we've learned from them, and what area of "His means of grace" we struggle with most. (praying/fasting, accountability, time in the Word, corporate worship, communion) Then we heard from a dear sister in Christ, Morgan Spivey. She spoke from Psalm 145 about God's greatness, goodness/righteousness and nearness. She also touched on the end of 1 John 5. It was awesome to sit and ponder those attributes of our God. I rarely sit and think about how great He is (v.3), how good & righteous He is (v.7), and how He is near at all times to those who call on Him in truth(v.18) I needed to be reminded of those things. I can so easily get stuck in "my" own little world and my problems, responsibilities & insecurities seem so big and overwhelming. I forget that I have a God, a Father who cares. Who loves me unconditionally and knows my stored up idols; who longs to replace them with Himself and fill me up with all that He is. I will always hold a very tender place in my heart for the women at Grace Community Church. They are a group of women, young and old, who are all willing to pour into other's lives and serve. God used so many of them to mold me, teach me, convict me and encourage me to be a stronger woman of the Lord- to love His Word, to love D.R. I am eternally grateful for their mentorship and friendship.
Sunday morning I got to fellowship again with that precious congregation of people. It was a somber day as I reflected on ten years ago and the attacks of 9/11. I got to eat lunch with my old boss/the pastor, Jim Bryars and his wife Becky and daughter Caroline. We sat at Newk's and caught up on the past year. It was lovely.
I'm thankful I got to spend time with great friends!
Saturday morning I went to a ladies brunch at Bette's house (one of the older ladies in the church- always a gracious hostess). It was just what my heart needed. Cinnamon rolls, hot coffee and time in the Word with 30 precious God-fearing women. We sat around in small groups on her back porch with the glorious breeze of 78* and discussed God's attributes, challenges He has brought into our lives in the past year, what we've learned from them, and what area of "His means of grace" we struggle with most. (praying/fasting, accountability, time in the Word, corporate worship, communion) Then we heard from a dear sister in Christ, Morgan Spivey. She spoke from Psalm 145 about God's greatness, goodness/righteousness and nearness. She also touched on the end of 1 John 5. It was awesome to sit and ponder those attributes of our God. I rarely sit and think about how great He is (v.3), how good & righteous He is (v.7), and how He is near at all times to those who call on Him in truth(v.18) I needed to be reminded of those things. I can so easily get stuck in "my" own little world and my problems, responsibilities & insecurities seem so big and overwhelming. I forget that I have a God, a Father who cares. Who loves me unconditionally and knows my stored up idols; who longs to replace them with Himself and fill me up with all that He is. I will always hold a very tender place in my heart for the women at Grace Community Church. They are a group of women, young and old, who are all willing to pour into other's lives and serve. God used so many of them to mold me, teach me, convict me and encourage me to be a stronger woman of the Lord- to love His Word, to love D.R. I am eternally grateful for their mentorship and friendship.
Sunday morning I got to fellowship again with that precious congregation of people. It was a somber day as I reflected on ten years ago and the attacks of 9/11. I got to eat lunch with my old boss/the pastor, Jim Bryars and his wife Becky and daughter Caroline. We sat at Newk's and caught up on the past year. It was lovely.
I'm thankful I got to spend time with great friends!
Thursday, September 1, 2011
The Doctrines of Grace
I struggled with these concepts for years. I actually ran the opposite direction when people started discussing them. I was angry. I was ignorant. I was fearful...that they may have some truth in them. The doctrines of grace, or as they are known in "slang terms", The 5 Points of Calvinism (T.U.L.I.P) are hard truths to swallow. It is only after the Holy Spirit softened my heart and opened my eyes to see (spiritually speaking) these truths as Truth; as Biblical. It has changed me- changed the way I view God, my sin and the glory of the life, death & resurrection of Jesus Christ.
I believe you can be a Christian and not hold these truths to be Truth. I know that there will be fellow brothers & sisters in heaven that think they were born sinless/innocent(that sin is an "outside" influence), that they made the choice to have eternal life with Christ, that God sent Jesus to die for all (even those who would go to hell), or that some believers can lose their salvation. I think this is bad theology and I think plenty are going through life with this bad theology. These people produce weak fruit, teach their children bad theology and miss out on the joy of living a truly God-honoring life. There are those Christians- and God did die for them. But for some, God in his great mercy and for a great purpose, has revealed these glorious doctrines of grace. The result should be obvious: the fruits of the Spirit seen clearly.
So, do you believe these things?
Total Depravity
Because of the fall, man is unable of himself to savingly believe the gospel. The sinner is dead, blind, and deaf to the things of God; his heart is deceitful and desperately corrupt. His will is not free, it is in bondage to his evil nature; therefore, he will not--indeed he cannot--choose good over evil in the spiritual realm. Consequently, it takes much more than the Spirit's assistance to bring a sinner to Christ--it takes regeneration by which the Spirit makes the sinner alive and gives him a new nature. Faith is not something man contributes to salvation but is itself a part of God's gift of salvation--it is God's gift to the sinner, not the sinner’s gift to God.
(Genesis 2:15-17, Romans 5:12, Psalm 51:5, 1 Corinthians 2:14, Romans 3:10-18, Jeremiah 17:9, John 6:44, Ephesians 2:1-10)
Unconditional Election
God's choice of certain individuals unto salvation before the foundation of the world rested solely in His own sovereign will. His choice of particular sinners was not based on any foreseen response or obedience on their part, such as faith, repentance, etc. On the contrary, God gives faith and repentance to each individual whom He selected. These acts are the result, not the cause of God's choice. Election therefore was not determined by or conditioned upon any virtuous quality or act foreseen in man. Those whom God sovereignly elected He brings through the power of the Spirit to a willing acceptance of Christ. Thus God's choice of the sinner, not the sinner’s choice of Christ, is the ultimate cause of salvation.
(Romans 9:10-21, Ephesians 1:4-11, Ephesians 2:4-10, Romans 8:29-30, Acts 11:18, Acts 13:48)
Limited Atonement
Christ's redeeming work was intended to save the elect only and actually secured salvation for them. His death was a substitutionary endurance of the penalty of sin in the place of certain specified sinners. In addition to putting away the sins of His people, Christ's redemption secured everything necessary for their salvation, including faith which united them to Him. The gift of faith is infallibly applied by the Spirit to all for whom Christ died, thereby guaranteeing their salvation.
(Matthew 1:21, Romans 5:12-21, Romans 3:21-26, Ephesians 2:8-10, Titus 3:5-6, Philippians 1:6, John 10:11-30, John 17:6-12, Romans 8:28-30, John 6:44, Acts 20:28)
Irresistible Grace
In addition to the outward general call to salvation which is made to everyone who hears the gospel, the Holy Spirit extends to the elect a special inward call that inevitably brings them to salvation. The external call (which is made to all without distinction) can be, and often is, rejected; whereas the internal call (which is made only to the elect) cannot be rejected, it always results in conversion. By means of this special call the Spirit irresistibly draws sinners to Christ. He is not limited in His work of applying salvation by man's will, nor is He dependent upon man's cooperation for success. The Spirit graciously causes the elect sinner to cooperate, to believe, to repent, to come freely and willingly to Christ. God's grace, therefore, is invincible; it never fails to result in the salvation of those to whom it is extended.
(John 3:16, Matthew 22:14, Acts 17:29-31, Matthew 23:37-39, John 6:44, Romans 8:28-30, John 1:12-13, John 3:1-8, Ephesians 2:8-10)
Perseverance of the Saints
All who were chosen by God, redeemed by Christ, and given faith by the Spirit are eternally saved. They are kept in faith by the power of Almighty God and thus persevere to the end.
(John 3:16, John 6:35-40, John 6:44, Philippians 1:6, Philippians 2:12-13, Jude 24-25, Ephesians 1:13-14, Romans 8:28-30, Romans 8:35-39)
I believe you can be a Christian and not hold these truths to be Truth. I know that there will be fellow brothers & sisters in heaven that think they were born sinless/innocent(that sin is an "outside" influence), that they made the choice to have eternal life with Christ, that God sent Jesus to die for all (even those who would go to hell), or that some believers can lose their salvation. I think this is bad theology and I think plenty are going through life with this bad theology. These people produce weak fruit, teach their children bad theology and miss out on the joy of living a truly God-honoring life. There are those Christians- and God did die for them. But for some, God in his great mercy and for a great purpose, has revealed these glorious doctrines of grace. The result should be obvious: the fruits of the Spirit seen clearly.
So, do you believe these things?
Total Depravity
Because of the fall, man is unable of himself to savingly believe the gospel. The sinner is dead, blind, and deaf to the things of God; his heart is deceitful and desperately corrupt. His will is not free, it is in bondage to his evil nature; therefore, he will not--indeed he cannot--choose good over evil in the spiritual realm. Consequently, it takes much more than the Spirit's assistance to bring a sinner to Christ--it takes regeneration by which the Spirit makes the sinner alive and gives him a new nature. Faith is not something man contributes to salvation but is itself a part of God's gift of salvation--it is God's gift to the sinner, not the sinner’s gift to God.
(Genesis 2:15-17, Romans 5:12, Psalm 51:5, 1 Corinthians 2:14, Romans 3:10-18, Jeremiah 17:9, John 6:44, Ephesians 2:1-10)
Unconditional Election
God's choice of certain individuals unto salvation before the foundation of the world rested solely in His own sovereign will. His choice of particular sinners was not based on any foreseen response or obedience on their part, such as faith, repentance, etc. On the contrary, God gives faith and repentance to each individual whom He selected. These acts are the result, not the cause of God's choice. Election therefore was not determined by or conditioned upon any virtuous quality or act foreseen in man. Those whom God sovereignly elected He brings through the power of the Spirit to a willing acceptance of Christ. Thus God's choice of the sinner, not the sinner’s choice of Christ, is the ultimate cause of salvation.
(Romans 9:10-21, Ephesians 1:4-11, Ephesians 2:4-10, Romans 8:29-30, Acts 11:18, Acts 13:48)
Limited Atonement
Christ's redeeming work was intended to save the elect only and actually secured salvation for them. His death was a substitutionary endurance of the penalty of sin in the place of certain specified sinners. In addition to putting away the sins of His people, Christ's redemption secured everything necessary for their salvation, including faith which united them to Him. The gift of faith is infallibly applied by the Spirit to all for whom Christ died, thereby guaranteeing their salvation.
(Matthew 1:21, Romans 5:12-21, Romans 3:21-26, Ephesians 2:8-10, Titus 3:5-6, Philippians 1:6, John 10:11-30, John 17:6-12, Romans 8:28-30, John 6:44, Acts 20:28)
Irresistible Grace
In addition to the outward general call to salvation which is made to everyone who hears the gospel, the Holy Spirit extends to the elect a special inward call that inevitably brings them to salvation. The external call (which is made to all without distinction) can be, and often is, rejected; whereas the internal call (which is made only to the elect) cannot be rejected, it always results in conversion. By means of this special call the Spirit irresistibly draws sinners to Christ. He is not limited in His work of applying salvation by man's will, nor is He dependent upon man's cooperation for success. The Spirit graciously causes the elect sinner to cooperate, to believe, to repent, to come freely and willingly to Christ. God's grace, therefore, is invincible; it never fails to result in the salvation of those to whom it is extended.
(John 3:16, Matthew 22:14, Acts 17:29-31, Matthew 23:37-39, John 6:44, Romans 8:28-30, John 1:12-13, John 3:1-8, Ephesians 2:8-10)
Perseverance of the Saints
All who were chosen by God, redeemed by Christ, and given faith by the Spirit are eternally saved. They are kept in faith by the power of Almighty God and thus persevere to the end.
(John 3:16, John 6:35-40, John 6:44, Philippians 1:6, Philippians 2:12-13, Jude 24-25, Ephesians 1:13-14, Romans 8:28-30, Romans 8:35-39)
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Shout Out! ::Pure Barre::
I can't talk highly enough about the work out that I have fallen in "burning"-love with! :) Pure Barre. A fusion of pilates and ballet.
Lift. Tone. And Burn, Baby Burn! It's a 45 minute full body workout that will flatten abs, lift the seat, tone your thighs and give you well-defined arms. It works every area a woman could want to work - arms, thighs, butt and abs. It's amazing and addicting. Each strength section of the workout is followed by a stretch section which will help achieve the slim look of a dancer. While my whole body is stronger and leaner, I can see the most difference in my thighs. They've always been my "problem, fat-gathering" area. I've never been able to achieve leaner, tighter thighs. I tried running 3-4x/wk, weight workouts 3-4x/wk and could not achieve the results I wanted like PB does. And the burn!! oh the burn!! it is like dark chocolate! you just want more and more. I have such a feeling of accomplishment after a "burn-session" and I've done my sweating for the day in 45 minutes!! I still try to run 2-3x/wk b/c it's a stress reliever for me but honestly PB is all you need to melt the fat. I own the original workout dvd which is no longer available on www.purebarre.com but can be purchased on amazon. It's the first dvd that comes up when you search "pure barre".
Carrie Rezabek Dorr (creator/founder) has since put out 5+ dvds and they are all great. Basically the same muscle groups worked in different ways. If you live in a city that has a PB studio, join! It is so encouraging to be in class with 20+ other women who are burning with you! It is a bit pricey so I recommend owning a dvd and taking one class/week. I look forward to the day PB comes to Columbus, GA! Two of my sorority sisters, Danielle Davis & Lindsay Lancaster own the studios in Birmingham and they are the ones who inspired me to try PB. I was hooked after the class I took from Lindsay! I wish I had a studio here to teach at but I'll continue to lift, tone, burn in my living room! So if you're looking for a great workout that's quick (but not easy) and effective, try Pure Barre.
Friday, August 12, 2011
work: a blessing
Back in April I was hired to work as the high school administrative assistant at Calvary Christian School. This job has been wonderful for me. I feel like it is tailored for who I am and that who I am is being tailored for this position. It's such a privilege to work around other believers. I have held jobs in the corporate world and in the christian business world and the difference is remarkable. (as it should be) I love the women and men I work around 40 hours a week and love the high schoolers I see roaming the hallways. We just finished teacher orientation week and talked about everything mentioned in the student and faculty handbooks. It was exhaustive but lots of great information. Our mission statement made me love this school even more. It says this:
Calvary Christian School exists to encourage students to accept Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord, develop a Biblical worldview, attain their individual academic excellence, and fulfill their God-given responsibilities in the home, church, and community.
I love the choice of words. "encourage" students. "attain" "individual" academic excellence, "responsibilities". Such great exhortation for our young, bright minds! The education world requires a lot of one's time and energy. I love our teachers and admire them so much for the endless hours they put in to give our students the very best educational experience they can receive. No one works at a Christian school because of the salary. Every teacher and staff knows that we would be paid twice what we make if working in the public school system. Every co-worker of mine is at Calvary because God wants them there and gave them a love for children. If you would've asked me a year ago what would make me most joyful, I would've said, "having a baby and being a mom". My response now is "serving the Lord joyfully in whatever capacity He has me". I feel like I'm right where He wants me to be. For now, my "children" are the 147 high schoolers.
Calvary Christian School exists to encourage students to accept Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord, develop a Biblical worldview, attain their individual academic excellence, and fulfill their God-given responsibilities in the home, church, and community.
I love the choice of words. "encourage" students. "attain" "individual" academic excellence, "responsibilities". Such great exhortation for our young, bright minds! The education world requires a lot of one's time and energy. I love our teachers and admire them so much for the endless hours they put in to give our students the very best educational experience they can receive. No one works at a Christian school because of the salary. Every teacher and staff knows that we would be paid twice what we make if working in the public school system. Every co-worker of mine is at Calvary because God wants them there and gave them a love for children. If you would've asked me a year ago what would make me most joyful, I would've said, "having a baby and being a mom". My response now is "serving the Lord joyfully in whatever capacity He has me". I feel like I'm right where He wants me to be. For now, my "children" are the 147 high schoolers.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
St. Louis: Why I cannot live the same.
WARNING: this is going to be a very lengthy blog post.
Two weeks ago, I went with our youth on a missions trip to St. Louis, MO. I have been on American mission trips before- every summer of my high school years in fact, so I thought I knew what was in store. I knew we would be tutoring inner-city children, working on people's homes and leading a kids club/VBS. I knew we would hear speakers each morning and evening. I knew we'd be in tight living quarters with one or two bathrooms shared between 28 people. I expected it to be convicting and for God to do things in my heart but He did so much more than that. So here's a rundown of what the trip was like.
We woke up every morning at 6:00am for breakfast. Packed our lunches and had a quick morning devotion before heading off to the church (New City Fellowship) for morning session & tutoring. We tutored children ages 4-17 from 9:30am-12:30pm. We then had lunch with the kids (most days) and then headed off to our work projects. These ranged from intense/dangerous to mild and heart-warming. One group took off an old roof and put down a new one(with only one injury to report! a nail in a foot-- tetanus shots were in tact, no worries) Another group pruning vegetables at a farm and plowed/weeded. Another group (mine) painted a widow's back porch and re-tiled her bathroom. Another group took down lots of mirrors from inside an old house. Another group sat and drank hot tea with elderly widows. A wide assortment of afternoon ministry! We did these projects from 1:30-4:00 and then had a break until 5:30. We ate dinner at the church each night and then headed off to Kids club/VBS. We split our group up and went to two locations- one at a local park and one at an apartment complex's courtyard area. Both were in the urban part of town. This was from 6:45-8:30pm. We sang songs, made a craft, had a snack and heard about the gospel through the story of Jonah. As you can imagine, we were all exhausted by the end of the day.
We took 23 kids and 5 leaders on this trip. All white/caucasian, "southern", upper/middle-class kids; the majority believers (ok, we had one French kid but he was definitely in the same description box). We have a very smart,strong group of teens. At our church we teach theology early on and most of our kids can recite the shorter catechism. (no, probably not) but seriously, they know the deep implications of Ephesians 2 and Romans 9. (Salvation by grace alone and God's sovereign choice in election) They are very grounded on gospel issues and can argue with the best of them. The NCF group was impressed with the Biblical knowledge of our group and felt challenged and encouraged.
This is Anjana Diyali, a Nepali girl who came to our Kids Club at night.
One of the central visions of NCF is racial reconciliation among the different communities in St. Louis. Their church mission is this: "To seek the establishment of God's kingdom rule in the hearts of people from every ethnic group by discipling the nations in the reconciling Gospel of Jesus Christ through a clear proclamation of salvation by grace through faith in Christ alone and by doing Spirit-led deeds of justice and mercy." St. Louis is now home to many refugees. I didn't know that the people I would be spending the most time with were refugees from Nepal and Burma. People who were forced to flee their country for political/religious reasons and placed in different American cities across our country. The group I worked most closely with was the Nepali community. (a country on the very north edge of India) Precious, precious people. Very hospitable and generous. Each night at kids club, they would invite us in to their small, run-down apartment and offer us whatever food they had (even though we had just come from dinner). They would let us hold their babies and play with their older children. So free, so giving, so trusting. So....non-American. I was gripped with the fact that I, a white American girl, have so much fear of other cultures. I fear I would never invite a black or Indian or Asian family into my house for a meal and let them play with my children. It was freeing to let God peel off the racist scales from my eyes. Throughout the week, I found myself convicted over little things that used to be second-nature. Like locking the door while riding through "the ghetto". When on our way to work projects one afternoon, Rhoda, the black intern from NCF was riding with us. We were riding through a part of town which was dominantly black so my instinct was to push the "lock" button. I thought about how it would make her feel and I felt uneasy about doing it- so I didn't. Not that I wouldn't have if I was by myself, but her being in the car... I felt she could've taken offense to it. There is nothing wrong with being safe and wise but my heart at that moment was not thinking "be safe", it was thinking "black man=danger" and that is wrong. All men are sinful and capable of evil. Why should I fear a black man more than a white man? Little things like that happened all throughout the week- revealings of my fearful, racist heart. It was so sad and yet so good of the Lord to convict me.
We had some really serious talks about who Jesus is and what living as a Christian looks like. She is an intelligent, kind girl.
I thought about my life. I live in the suburban part of town. I go to an all-white PCA church, I work at a private, Christian, basically all-white school, and I teach dance to all white ballerinas. I have zero interaction with any other race unless it's the clerk at Target or the waitress at my fav sushi joint. I live in a white bubble inside of a very cultured city. If I am not deliberate about it, I will never have a friendship with a black woman or an asian woman or an indian child. I can float through my life communing with caucasians only and I know that I would still go to heaven because I am saved by Christ's finished work on the cross. by grace alone, through faith alone.. & the rest of the Solas. I believe them. I'm not saved based on the merit of my good deeds (of my amount of mission trips). But I am God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus, FOR good works WHICH He prepared in advance that we should walk in them. (Eph.2:10) It's the overflow of gratitude for what Christ did for me on the cross that compels me to love other races and cultures. It's not natural. It's intentional and supernatural. Since going on this trip to St. Louis there is more of an urgency in me to love other races. To be involved in their lives. Maybe... to do life with them. But what does this look like? This is what I am praying about- what does God want for D.R. & I concerning racial reconciliation? And what is it that needs to be reconciled? I mean, I like black people. I like Asian, Hispanic and Indian people. But do I like them enough to do life with them? I don't know. Would I be willing to relocate to the urban part of town? To shop at their grocery stores? to send my children to inner-city schools? to have play dates with their children? I don't know if God is calling us to this, but I do know He's set my mind to think deeper about these issues. He has reminded me how He loves. "The Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth." Jn 1:14 Jesus was fully God when He was fully man yet He didn't commute back and forth to heaven. He dwelt among us. The poor, the needy, the sojourner. He felt our pain, shared in our suffering. He did life with us. This convicts me. Like I said, I'm not sure where the Lord will take my husband and I in the following years. The gospel can be lived out among any race and God receives glory in a million different ways. We just have to pray and listen for His leading in our lives.
A few passages of scripture that God showed me over the trip was Deuteronomy 24 & Leviticus 19 which both say, regarding our finances, (in summary),
"You shall not pervert the justice due to the sojourner or to the fatherless, or take a widow’s garment in pledge, but you shall remember that you were a slave in Egypt and the LORD your God redeemed you from there; therefore I command you to do this."When you reap your harvest in your field and forget a sheaf in the field, you shall not go back to get it. It shall be for the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow, that the LORD your God may bless you in all the work of your hands. When you beat your olive trees, you shall not go over them again. It shall be for the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow. When you gather the grapes of your vineyard, you shall not strip it afterward. It shall be for the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow. You shall remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt; therefore I command you to do this."
2 Corinthians 5:17-21 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God."
I'm learning to do this in small ways: smiling more at people, calling the waiter/waitress/cashier by their first name. This is "Christ" to people. We love because He first loved us.
That is all.
Two weeks ago, I went with our youth on a missions trip to St. Louis, MO. I have been on American mission trips before- every summer of my high school years in fact, so I thought I knew what was in store. I knew we would be tutoring inner-city children, working on people's homes and leading a kids club/VBS. I knew we would hear speakers each morning and evening. I knew we'd be in tight living quarters with one or two bathrooms shared between 28 people. I expected it to be convicting and for God to do things in my heart but He did so much more than that. So here's a rundown of what the trip was like.
We woke up every morning at 6:00am for breakfast. Packed our lunches and had a quick morning devotion before heading off to the church (New City Fellowship) for morning session & tutoring. We tutored children ages 4-17 from 9:30am-12:30pm. We then had lunch with the kids (most days) and then headed off to our work projects. These ranged from intense/dangerous to mild and heart-warming. One group took off an old roof and put down a new one(with only one injury to report! a nail in a foot-- tetanus shots were in tact, no worries) Another group pruning vegetables at a farm and plowed/weeded. Another group (mine) painted a widow's back porch and re-tiled her bathroom. Another group took down lots of mirrors from inside an old house. Another group sat and drank hot tea with elderly widows. A wide assortment of afternoon ministry! We did these projects from 1:30-4:00 and then had a break until 5:30. We ate dinner at the church each night and then headed off to Kids club/VBS. We split our group up and went to two locations- one at a local park and one at an apartment complex's courtyard area. Both were in the urban part of town. This was from 6:45-8:30pm. We sang songs, made a craft, had a snack and heard about the gospel through the story of Jonah. As you can imagine, we were all exhausted by the end of the day.
We took 23 kids and 5 leaders on this trip. All white/caucasian, "southern", upper/middle-class kids; the majority believers (ok, we had one French kid but he was definitely in the same description box). We have a very smart,strong group of teens. At our church we teach theology early on and most of our kids can recite the shorter catechism. (no, probably not) but seriously, they know the deep implications of Ephesians 2 and Romans 9. (Salvation by grace alone and God's sovereign choice in election) They are very grounded on gospel issues and can argue with the best of them. The NCF group was impressed with the Biblical knowledge of our group and felt challenged and encouraged.
This is Anjana Diyali, a Nepali girl who came to our Kids Club at night.
One of the central visions of NCF is racial reconciliation among the different communities in St. Louis. Their church mission is this: "To seek the establishment of God's kingdom rule in the hearts of people from every ethnic group by discipling the nations in the reconciling Gospel of Jesus Christ through a clear proclamation of salvation by grace through faith in Christ alone and by doing Spirit-led deeds of justice and mercy." St. Louis is now home to many refugees. I didn't know that the people I would be spending the most time with were refugees from Nepal and Burma. People who were forced to flee their country for political/religious reasons and placed in different American cities across our country. The group I worked most closely with was the Nepali community. (a country on the very north edge of India) Precious, precious people. Very hospitable and generous. Each night at kids club, they would invite us in to their small, run-down apartment and offer us whatever food they had (even though we had just come from dinner). They would let us hold their babies and play with their older children. So free, so giving, so trusting. So....non-American. I was gripped with the fact that I, a white American girl, have so much fear of other cultures. I fear I would never invite a black or Indian or Asian family into my house for a meal and let them play with my children. It was freeing to let God peel off the racist scales from my eyes. Throughout the week, I found myself convicted over little things that used to be second-nature. Like locking the door while riding through "the ghetto". When on our way to work projects one afternoon, Rhoda, the black intern from NCF was riding with us. We were riding through a part of town which was dominantly black so my instinct was to push the "lock" button. I thought about how it would make her feel and I felt uneasy about doing it- so I didn't. Not that I wouldn't have if I was by myself, but her being in the car... I felt she could've taken offense to it. There is nothing wrong with being safe and wise but my heart at that moment was not thinking "be safe", it was thinking "black man=danger" and that is wrong. All men are sinful and capable of evil. Why should I fear a black man more than a white man? Little things like that happened all throughout the week- revealings of my fearful, racist heart. It was so sad and yet so good of the Lord to convict me.
We had some really serious talks about who Jesus is and what living as a Christian looks like. She is an intelligent, kind girl.
I thought about my life. I live in the suburban part of town. I go to an all-white PCA church, I work at a private, Christian, basically all-white school, and I teach dance to all white ballerinas. I have zero interaction with any other race unless it's the clerk at Target or the waitress at my fav sushi joint. I live in a white bubble inside of a very cultured city. If I am not deliberate about it, I will never have a friendship with a black woman or an asian woman or an indian child. I can float through my life communing with caucasians only and I know that I would still go to heaven because I am saved by Christ's finished work on the cross. by grace alone, through faith alone.. & the rest of the Solas. I believe them. I'm not saved based on the merit of my good deeds (of my amount of mission trips). But I am God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus, FOR good works WHICH He prepared in advance that we should walk in them. (Eph.2:10) It's the overflow of gratitude for what Christ did for me on the cross that compels me to love other races and cultures. It's not natural. It's intentional and supernatural. Since going on this trip to St. Louis there is more of an urgency in me to love other races. To be involved in their lives. Maybe... to do life with them. But what does this look like? This is what I am praying about- what does God want for D.R. & I concerning racial reconciliation? And what is it that needs to be reconciled? I mean, I like black people. I like Asian, Hispanic and Indian people. But do I like them enough to do life with them? I don't know. Would I be willing to relocate to the urban part of town? To shop at their grocery stores? to send my children to inner-city schools? to have play dates with their children? I don't know if God is calling us to this, but I do know He's set my mind to think deeper about these issues. He has reminded me how He loves. "The Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth." Jn 1:14 Jesus was fully God when He was fully man yet He didn't commute back and forth to heaven. He dwelt among us. The poor, the needy, the sojourner. He felt our pain, shared in our suffering. He did life with us. This convicts me. Like I said, I'm not sure where the Lord will take my husband and I in the following years. The gospel can be lived out among any race and God receives glory in a million different ways. We just have to pray and listen for His leading in our lives.
A few passages of scripture that God showed me over the trip was Deuteronomy 24 & Leviticus 19 which both say, regarding our finances, (in summary),
"You shall not pervert the justice due to the sojourner or to the fatherless, or take a widow’s garment in pledge, but you shall remember that you were a slave in Egypt and the LORD your God redeemed you from there; therefore I command you to do this."When you reap your harvest in your field and forget a sheaf in the field, you shall not go back to get it. It shall be for the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow, that the LORD your God may bless you in all the work of your hands. When you beat your olive trees, you shall not go over them again. It shall be for the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow. When you gather the grapes of your vineyard, you shall not strip it afterward. It shall be for the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow. You shall remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt; therefore I command you to do this."
2 Corinthians 5:17-21 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God."
I'm learning to do this in small ways: smiling more at people, calling the waiter/waitress/cashier by their first name. This is "Christ" to people. We love because He first loved us.
That is all.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Fourth of July weekend & my birthday
We flew down to Boynton Beach to visit my family for the 4th of July weekend. D.R. & I both had 4 day weekends so we took advantage of it. It was a refreshing time of catching up with childhood friends, drinking coffee with my mom & dad, going shopping with Granny, mom & Kirstie and enjoying the beach and the food. I've said it before but I am blessed to be from such a beautiful city.
There are a few things I can always count on when we go to my hometown. 1.) There is always lots of what I call "God-talk". Between mom, dad, Kirstie, Aaron, D.R., Buddy and I there is a lot of discussion of the Bible, of books we've been reading, of theology, of sermons we've heard recently or just plain giving thanks for this or that. It is so encouraging to be around people who want to talk about the goodness and justice of God. I always learn a lot. The second thing I can always count on is 2.) capturing moments on camera. I look forward to all the great photos my dad will take when we're together. He's the reason I remember so much of my childhood. There are literally....and I'm not kidding....... 36 VHS videos 2hr long each of "Danelle & Kirstie" videos. Every birthday, every Christmas, every recital or cheerleading event, every vacation,... is captured on video. It's a treasure. I always watch at least one "Danelle & Kirstie" when I go home. (poor D.R. and now Aaron) Kirstie & I love them!!! They are hilarious. We love to reminisce. The third thing I can always count on is lots of love and affection. My family will hug the life out of you. It's just how we express our gratitude or affection. We're not afraid to hug a waitress or pastor or nail salon person for their service. LOL (especially not Granny) Home is a treasure. I'm thankful we got to go for a few days.
Tuesday was my 27th birthday and I felt very celebrated. D.R. bought us tickets to see Wicked in Atlanta in September. I've been talking about Wicked for a long time and I am soooooo excited to see it in a few months! My family got me a Carvel ice cream cake (per my humble request). It was divine! The perfect summer birthday treat. My favorite part is the crunchy chocolately bits in the center! yum! They also got me a very pretty Brighton belt, a locket with our picture in it and helped pay our airfare.
My husband. He's great. I feel so immensely thankful for him lately. He has been so thoughtful, kind and loving in the last year and our marriage is so much richer because of it. (thank you Lord) He knows how much I love cards so he always gets one for me. I have to share this one with you. It made me cry instantly.
and the inside
You probably can't read his writing but he says, "I have grown to love you more over the years-more love as I have been matured by God. When I think of you, I am most thankful. God has blessed me with a smart, kind, thoughtful, and beautiful wife that can only be covered up, masked, or forgotten by sin. I commit to work harder on our marriage than the last year so that our love is stronger next year. I love you, D.R."
He's right, only sin can make us forget how wonderful our spouse is.
Anyways, I hope it was a great 4th for everyone! We are so blessed to live in the US of A!
There are a few things I can always count on when we go to my hometown. 1.) There is always lots of what I call "God-talk". Between mom, dad, Kirstie, Aaron, D.R., Buddy and I there is a lot of discussion of the Bible, of books we've been reading, of theology, of sermons we've heard recently or just plain giving thanks for this or that. It is so encouraging to be around people who want to talk about the goodness and justice of God. I always learn a lot. The second thing I can always count on is 2.) capturing moments on camera. I look forward to all the great photos my dad will take when we're together. He's the reason I remember so much of my childhood. There are literally....and I'm not kidding....... 36 VHS videos 2hr long each of "Danelle & Kirstie" videos. Every birthday, every Christmas, every recital or cheerleading event, every vacation,... is captured on video. It's a treasure. I always watch at least one "Danelle & Kirstie" when I go home. (poor D.R. and now Aaron) Kirstie & I love them!!! They are hilarious. We love to reminisce. The third thing I can always count on is lots of love and affection. My family will hug the life out of you. It's just how we express our gratitude or affection. We're not afraid to hug a waitress or pastor or nail salon person for their service. LOL (especially not Granny) Home is a treasure. I'm thankful we got to go for a few days.
Tuesday was my 27th birthday and I felt very celebrated. D.R. bought us tickets to see Wicked in Atlanta in September. I've been talking about Wicked for a long time and I am soooooo excited to see it in a few months! My family got me a Carvel ice cream cake (per my humble request). It was divine! The perfect summer birthday treat. My favorite part is the crunchy chocolately bits in the center! yum! They also got me a very pretty Brighton belt, a locket with our picture in it and helped pay our airfare.
My husband. He's great. I feel so immensely thankful for him lately. He has been so thoughtful, kind and loving in the last year and our marriage is so much richer because of it. (thank you Lord) He knows how much I love cards so he always gets one for me. I have to share this one with you. It made me cry instantly.
and the inside
You probably can't read his writing but he says, "I have grown to love you more over the years-more love as I have been matured by God. When I think of you, I am most thankful. God has blessed me with a smart, kind, thoughtful, and beautiful wife that can only be covered up, masked, or forgotten by sin. I commit to work harder on our marriage than the last year so that our love is stronger next year. I love you, D.R."
He's right, only sin can make us forget how wonderful our spouse is.
Anyways, I hope it was a great 4th for everyone! We are so blessed to live in the US of A!
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